Have you ever wondered if traveling without your husband will hurt your marriage?
Ever since I can remember, my husband and I have taken one or two trips a year without each other. Whether the motivator was a bachelor/bachelorette party, Fantasy Football draft weekend, a golf or wine tasting trip, visiting family or old friends, or just getting out of town with the guys or girls, we’ve come to enjoy and look forward to our little separate getaways.
Now, this isn’t to say that we don’t love traveling together, because we do and we try to do so often, but we have also recognized the benefits of having a little time apart. Of course, there are couples who are unable to travel separately for valid reasons (finances, limited days off at work, childcare issues), but there are many couples who haven’t considered it, worry that it isn’t good for their marriage, or worry that their partner won’t get on board.
For those of you who’ve thought about it, but feel anxious about the idea of leaving your husband or for those of you who need a little help making the decision, I’ve highlighted 10 AMAZING benefits of traveling without your husband every once in a while.
10 Benefits of Traveling Without Your Husband
- You get to miss one another again! – When was the last time you genuinely missed your husband? Yes, you may miss them a little during the day, but when you travel without your husband, you get reacquainted with the part of you that longs for a connection with him. Let’s face it, sometimes life at home can become a little mundane, but when you spend a weekend (or longer apart) you shake up the routine and have time to think about all the things that you miss, love and appreciate, about your husband, which gets you excited to reunite.
- You get to be with your “own kind” – Of course you have fun with your husband, that’s a given, and is super important. But men and women typically play differently. Women like to talk, share, and verbally connect. Men enjoy being active with one another, they tease each other, and challenge one another. Getting away with the guys or girls gives us the freedom to play and connect in our “natural habitat”. And let’s face it, everyone needs to be with their own “species” from time to time.
- You can do things your husband doesn’t necessarily enjoy (dancing, golfing, fishing, hiking, spa days, laying by the pool) – Similar to what was said above, men and women often enjoy different activities. Yes, you may enjoy golfing as much as your husband does and he may enjoy laying by the pool, but I am sure that there are some things that you like to do that your husband isn’t that enthusiastic about and vice versa. For me, it’s dancing. My husband isn’t really into dancing, he will dance with me every once in a while… when the mood strikes, but typically that’s something I get to do much more of when I’m away with my girlfriends.
- The partner who left feels rejuvenated and happy when they return – We all know that life can be stressful and overwhelming at times, so when we give our spouse a break and encourage them to get away and have a good time while we handle things at home, they often come home rested and appreciative. In most cases, your husband will have spent the weekend laughing and relaxing, which will boost their mood and leave them feeling grateful and loving towards you, and ready to come back and help!
- The spouse who stays home gets some time alone in the house (even if it is after the kids go to bed) – Maybe this is something only I enjoy, but when my husband goes away for the weekend, I look forward to having a little peace and quiet in the house. Of course, that may exist only after the kids go to bed, but it’s great knowing that at some point I will get to watch any movie/TV show I want, the house will be as clean or dirty as I left it, and no one will distract me from whatever chores or projects I choose to tackle.
- Sex is hotter after a little time apart – This probably should have been #1 because when you spend time away from your spouse, reuniting physically is, and should be, one of the best perks! Sure, the same amount of time may have passed without having sex if your spouse had been home with you all weekend, but there’s just something about not being able to have it that makes you want it even more, right?!?!
- You can do things or see people that you don’t have time for while your spouse is away – Another perk for the partner who stays home is that you’ll have time for activities or people that you struggle to fit in when your spouse is home. Maybe you’ve been wanting to reconnect with an old friend or take a class at the gym that typically interferes with your weekend family or couple routine. When your husband is gone, you can see, do, or accomplish many of the things you’ve been putting off.
- You’ll appreciate one another more – This is sort of a touchy one… When we travel without our husbands and get away with friends, everyone tends to share, vent, or lean on the group. Most often one or more friends on the trip are struggling in their relationship (because let’s face it, relationships are difficult). Maybe a friend is on the brink of divorce, feels neglected by her spouse, or just found out that her husband was cheating. Hearing the reality within other marriages can allow us to take a step back and appreciate our own marriage. To be clear, I am not saying that you or your partner should take delight in the struggles or pain of a friend, but being there to support a friend during a difficult time can remind us of the many blessings in our lives and highlight the positives in our own marriage.
- Trust is reinforced – This is a big one! Many couples avoid weekends apart because one or both partners do not trust the other. The problem with this way of thinking is that holding your spouse back often leads to mistrust. In my marriage, weekends apart actually increase trust. As crazy as that may sound, my husband’s dedication to communicating with me while he is away, shows me how much he cares and is thinking about me. If you try to re-frame how you look at a weekend apart and set up clear ground rules and expectations, a weekend without one another can actually increase the trust in your marriage.
- You’ll have something new to talk about – News flash, all couples run out of interesting discussion topics from time to time, especially if you have kids. This is normal and nothing to worry about. However, spending time apart allows you to experience the world separately, which creates new topics and ideas to share and discuss.
Hopefully, these 10 benefits of traveling without your husband have inspired you to email your friends to start planning a little getaway this year. If this is a new idea for you and your husband, start small at first (maybe just one night away or even just a night out on the town with the girls), and then go from there. Remember, that as you plan and talk about your weekend away, stay focused on how this adventure will actually benefit your marriage!