Is your marriage struggling during this unprecedented quarantine?
You’re not alone!
Marriages around the country are struggling right now.
With so much uncertainty about work, childcare, school, and just our physical safety, life is overwhelming.
Your children can feel the stress, and they are paying attention to how you and your husband manage it.
I don’t know about you, but my husband and I are definitely arguing more than usual! UGH!!!
It’s Time for a Marriage Plan
So, it’s time to make a marriage plan.
We have no idea how long this is all going to last. We have no idea what the implication will be for our jobs, families, community, but we can take control of our marriage. We can protect our marriage during quarantine to ensure that our family system remains healthy.
Below are 5 actions you can take to start protecting your marriage. Set aside a little time to talk about them with your husband, and work towards putting them in place.
How to Protect Your Marriage During Quarantine
- Make a Plan: Talk DAILY about what you BOTH need concerning work and childcare. This is ALL new, so each night have a QUICK discussion about what went WELL and what needs adjusting to make each day a little better.
- Build-In Self-Care: Anxiety is high. Stress is high. We are overwhelmed and uncertain, so we need to take care of ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally. Discuss how and when both you and your husband will have time to relax, exercise, breathe, zone out, FaceTime friends, etc.
- Spend Quality Time Together: When the day ends, you are MORE than EXHAUSTED from having your kids home with you all day, BUT you still need to connect as a couple. Pick 1-2 days per week that you will commit to hanging out together for at least 20-30 minutes. During that time, you can cuddle, play a game, talk about something cute the kids did during the day, sit in your backyard and breath fresh air, stretch together. Whatever you decided to do, keep it POSITIVE!
- Pause the Fight: Emotions are tense right now, so you are more likely to get into a heated argument with your husband. If the two of you start to spiral out of control, remember that your children are watching and listening and AGREE to take a break. During the break, do something calming, think about your vulnerable emotions, and then return to your husband at an agreed-upon time to apologize and work towards a repair.
- Trust Each Other: This is a great time to reflect on your partner’s intentions in your marriage. As you spend a lot of time together, you will inevitably push each other’s buttons, get frustrated with one another, and argue. When this happens, take a step back and remember that you are in this TOGETHER, you both WANT to work towards a resolution and end the fight, and NEITHER of you wants COVID-19 to be the demise of your marriage! So give each other the benefit of the doubt!
QUICK RECAP: This is a very stressful time for our families, communities, country, and world. Try to manage your own emotions by implementing self-care, nurture your marriage by spending some quality time together when you can, and try to remind yourself that we will all get through this!