Has this ever happened to you?
You meet someone, hit it off, and start thinking to yourself, “Maybe this could be the one!”
Shortly thereafter you begin to notice little things (i.e. they don’t get along with your friends, they never invite you over to their place, they always seem to forget their wallet, they speak negatively about their family or ex, they’re alarmingly rude to the waiter, etc.).
When you start noticing odd behaviors in a new mate, you have a choice. You can either choose to pay attention to these behaviors and learn more about them, or ignore them.
Paying attention means that you become curious about certain behaviors. It means that you start asking questions, observe your new love interest in various environments and settings, and continue to gather information about who they are and what they’re all about. This will help you determine if their “odd behaviors” are actually red flags or just one off instances.
Ignoring these behaviors, on the other hand, means that you’ve decided to “close your eyes” and just hope for the best.
Hopefully, you’re smart enough to realize that you must pay attention to red flags. Of course not all red flags are relationship deal breakers, but ignoring odd behaviors, not understanding them, or failing to clarify them will only lead to pain, disappointment, and most likely heartbreak down the road.
Below is a list of common red flags. Review the list to ensure that you are not missing the big ones, but also remember that your instincts and gut intuition will often be spot on. If your gut is telling you something, listen. Ask more questions, get to know the person better, and if necessary, end it before you get in too deep.
COMMON RED FLAGS:
- You pay for everything
- They move very quickly
- They have poor relationships with friends and family
- They have extremely close relationships with friends and family
- Drama seems to follow them
- They never invite you to their place
- They only call certain hours of the day
- You’re the only initiating plans and/or communication
- They have a difficult time holding down a job
- They blame others for their problems
- Your friends and family do not warm up to them