Modern technology allows us to stay connected to our loved ones throughout the day. Anywhere, anytime we now have the ability to communicate, share, and update instantly through devices and programs like smart phones, iPads, text messaging, email, instant messaging, Skype, Facebook, Twitter, Four Square, and so on. No matter where we are in the world or what time it is, we can always find a way to make a call, email a picture, or share our thoughts. We are visible, accessible, and easily located.
As wonderful as this can and should be in maintaining a strong connection with your partner, advances in technology have also contributed to a new series of relationship problems. For example, couples today often argue via text, experience miscommunications via email, and become jealous and insecure in their relationship because of Facebook. Technology has allowed people access into the lives of their partner, but sometimes that access is misused.
In order to utilize technology in a way that will truly benefit your marriage, rather than tear it apart, you must have some guidelines. Remember that checking in with your honey, sending a loving text, or emailing a cute pic of you is always a good thing, but crossing over to the “dark side” or misusing technology in your relationship can eventually tear the two of you apart.
Helpful Technology Guidelines to Follow:
- DO NOT fight via text, email, instant chat or any other variation. Arguments are difficult enough to work through in person. Words can be misinterpreted and misconstrued when written, so save your feelings for a face to face or “ear to ear” conversation.
- DO send a loving text letting your honey know that you’re thinking about them. We all feel good when someone takes time out of their day to send us a thoughtful message, so make an effort to do this more in your relationship.
- DO NOT engage with an ex via Facebook or Twitter if it makes your spouse uncomfortable. If you find yourself spending a lot of time on social media chatting with someone other than your spouse, it’s time to examine your relationship. Your spouse is the person you should turn to. If you’re looking for support, comfort or advice outside of your marriage, it may be time to seek out professional support.
- DO share pictures of you and your spouse on social media. Let the world know the good things going on in your life and the positive aspects of your relationship!
- DO call your spouse during the day to ask how they’re doing. Show them you care by making that extra effort. Follow up on the big meeting they were stressing about, ask them to meet you for lunch, or tell them you can’t wait to kiss them when they get home.
- DO NOT call your spouse to verbally attack them and then hang up. If you need to have a conversation with your spouse, be prepared to stay engaged and stay on the call. Hanging up on one another is destructive.
- DO respond to your spouse when they reach out. Reciprocation is important in a marriage, so text, email or call and let them know you appreciate their effort.
- DO NOT cyber-stalk your spouse. Trust is important in any relationship, so if you’re feeling insecure or worried about infidelity talk to your spouse rather than spying.
- DO comment on and pay attention to what your spouse shares via social media. Being actively involved in your partner’s life will keep your relationship strong. Hitting that “Like” button will go a long way.
- DO remember to carve out time for face to face conversations, so that you can share, update, and chat in person. Technology is great for quick updates and support, but nothing beats a face to face conversation.