Psychologist, Relationship Expert, Couples Counseling, Individual Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Newlyed Counseling, & Marriage Counseling, in Newport Beach, CA By Dr. Meredith Hansen
Whether you’re in a relationship or currently looking for love, listening is an essential tool that you must master in order to have a successful relationship.
It is really common for people on a date to get caught up in themselves (how they look, how they’re coming across, if the other person is interested in them, etc.) and to lose track of their date (What am I learning about them? Are we compatible?
An open-ended question encourages a meaningful, complete response. It is a communication technique used to gain deeper access into a person’s thoughts and feelings. When utilized correctly, open-ended questions can strengthen a relationship, help us understand a person’s point of view, needs, and feelings, increase empathy, and assess if someone is a good fit for us.
Unfortunately, most people tend to ask closed-ended questions, which usually elicit a “yes” or “no” or one word response. The problem with closed-ended questions is that they do not foster
If you live in Southern California you are probably all too familiar with term “June Gloom.”
It’s that time of year when, just as our days begin to get longer and the smell of summer begins to fill the air, the marine layer thickens and the sunny, warm days we long for are instead grey, gloomy, and overcast.
To make matters worse, somehow “June Gloom” tends to exist mostly on the weekends. During the week while we’re in the office, the sun brightly shines inviting fantasies of weekends at the beach, pool, park, etc, but then when the weekend finally arrives that marine layer seems to hold strong, preventing the
Would you like to improve your relationship in 2012?
Read my Top 10 Relationship Tips below and resolve to improve your love life in the New Year!
1. Identify specifically what to change in your relationship. For example, would you like to treat each other better everyday, decrease the fighting, feel more connected, share more with each other, travel together, communicate more, etc. Knowing exactly what you would like to improve in your relationship will help you make those changes a reality in the New Year.
2. Communicate your needs. Knowing what you want out of your relationship in the New Year is important, but you must also learn how to share these needs and wants with your partner. Find time over the next few days to communicate your 2012 needs and identify steps the two of you can take to achieve these goals as a couple.
3. Praise your partner more often. I know I say this all the time, but it is so, so important. It’s extremely easy for us to focus on the things our partner doesn’t do or the things they do wrong, but this can
“We want to learn how to stop fighting,” Diana told me during her first session with her new husband Tim. After just 8 months of marriage, Diana and Tim entered marriage counseling. Although they loved each other very much, they had begun fighting more regularly and were feeling increasingly insecure and unsure about their relationship. In other words, they worried that they had made a mistake marrying one another.
During their first session Diana and Tim shared details about their arguments. They reported that most of the time they were unable to resolve conflict and ended up fighting for days. Instead of hearing one another and working towards healing, they often fought until they were exhausted and both felt hurt, disappointed,
The holidays are in full swing! Thanksgiving has passed and now the focus shifts to holiday gifts, parties, travel, and more.
For most couples, the financial pressure that comes with holiday shopping often gets in the way of enjoying the season together. Arguing, fighting, and distance typically increase for couples who find themselves unprepared to manage these demands. Fortunately, relationship problems DO NOT have to be a part of your holiday season.
The video below will teach you how to work as a team with respect to your money over the next next four weeks, which will keep you
The holidays are quickly approaching and for many couples this can be a time of stress and overwhelm. Although most couples hope to enjoy their holiday celebrations together, many couples instead end up arguing, frustrated, and at odds. Family dynamics, travel issues, and financial burdens can lead to emotional overwhelm, and couples who do not learn to turn towards each other under the pressure can end up feeling hurt and isolated.
Below are 4 tips to help strengthen your relationship and stay connected this holiday season:
1. Talk about your plans and expectations in advance: Many couples skip this step. They assume that they’re on the same page, believe that they have the same idea about how the day will play out, or don’t even realize that they have expectations for the day. This is a big mistake.
It’s important that you and your partner learn
When we decide we want to make a change in our lives a lot of things can happen. We can receive support, pushback, unsolicited opinions and so on. Everybody seems to weigh in on whether they think our desired changes are good, bad, or necessary.
Although making healthy changes is important, it’s essential to realize that our adjustments will affect the equilibrium in our relationships. The current dynamics of how and when we interact with others can shift as we find a new way to exist in the world. New boundaries are often established in the process, changes in our behaviors can occur, and the people who typically related to the old version of us can feel left behind, threatened, or confused.
In order to minimize the pushback you may receive as you establish a new, healthier version of you, it’s important to
This is probably the most common question I hear from the clients I work with (“Can my marriage be saved?”). Afraid, frustrated, disappointed, and scared, couples enter my office looking for answers and a solution. Paralyzed and disappointed, they report attempts to get the relationship back on track. They share feelings of helplessness, exhaustion, and overwhelm. They doubt that the bond they once shared can be repaired and they begin to flirt with the idea of divorce.
In my experience, most couples do not enter their marriage thinking about divorce. Engaged couples I see for premarital counseling almost always state that “divorce is not an option.” However, as time passes and life becomes more complicated, resentments can build and couples often begin to experience emotional distance in their relationship. Perpetual arguments dominate their interactions (“You never do anything around here.” “All you do is nag me.” “You left your clothes on the floor.”), and soon it can feel like nothing will get better, nothing will change.
If this sounds familiar to you, you’re
Getting married is a very exciting time in life. From planning the perfect wedding and honeymoon, to imagining life together as newlyweds, there are a lot of things to look forward once the question has been popped.
As wonderful as your wedding day will be, it is important to remember that you must focus on your marriage that will follow. After all, your wedding will last just a few hours, but your marriage will hopefully last a lifetime.
For most couples, living happily ever after is possible, but getting there does require ongoing attention, effort, and self-exploration. One way to begin the process of safeguarding your marriage-to-be is to get in touch with the motivations and desires driving you to wed.
When working with premarital couples in my private practice I always start out by asking
